Category: Trump

Now It Makes Sense

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“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” 

This famous quote from Maya Angelou certainly holds true when considering it in view of the current political climate. Apparently, many of Donald Trump’s supporters want the person who has been revealed time after time.

They want the person who disparages military service and sacrifice. They do not mind that their cult hero stands in front of soldier’s graves, smiling and sending a thumbs-up salute to those who are receptive to such a message. Many others within Trump’s orbit have commented on the disdain he has shown before towards those currently in the military, or those who suffered wounds or death wearing the uniform. Yes, Trump denies having shown disrespect, because people have called him out for it. Like the toddler caught with cookie crumbs around his mouth, his only response is to lie about it. Nothing to see at Arlington, it was all made up to make him look bad. Never mind that he equated contributing millions to his campaign with someone receiving the Congressional Medal of Honor, and that was just recently, showing that his state of mind has not changed.

They want someone who can come up with the most pithy nickname for an opponent. Whether that is someone with the temerity to hold him to account, or a true political rival, it doesn’t matter. What matters is whether he is able to drive the conversation the way he wants it to go, and whether people automatically apply the nickname whenever the opponent is mentioned. And above all, make sure you own the libs. They want that most of all.

They want someone who supposedly is a fabulously successful businessman. Even though entities affiliated with the Trump name have had to seek bankruptcy protection many times in the past, the “Golden Boy” has escaped the terrible consequences of failure. In fact, due to a misguided reality show, many of his core supporters still believe in the myth of his success and business acumen represented by his character on his show.

They want someone to speak their prejudices out loud. It’s about time according to them, that someone spoke the quiet part out loud. After all, according to them, it is only the descendants of white European settlers who had the brainpower and moral standing to tame this savage continent and make it fruitful. Now we seem to want to turn it over to those Johnny-come-lately people from shithole countries. Well, no more.

They want someone who will stand up to the real enemies of this country. No, not those other nations who we really should be getting along with, like Russia and North Korea, but those elites who lord it over the real patriots of this nation, who do the real work. We should never have let these cities grow so big. People get strange ideas there, like all citizens have a right to vote. This country has gone downhill ever since those uppity blacks demanded we end Jim Crow laws, and indeed, ever since women got the right to vote. It’s about time someone spoke the real truth.

They want someone who thumbs his nose at any attempt to hold him accountable. He himself is blameless, it always has to be someone else at fault. The laws of the nation were not intended to apply to him. After all, he is the Chosen One. It was just a mistake they made when the laws were written, in that they did not carve out a deserved exception for the Chosen One.

They want someone who has all the answers. There is no room for any hesitation, any uncertainty. They want someone who is so sure of themselves, they need not review any topic where they may be a little less knowledgeable. No, if you are not sure of an answer, bullshit your way through an answer, any answer. Weave and bob through the discomfort you feel. Just make sure you appear to yourself to be supremely in control of the situation. That is what they want, those who have taken you into their heart as their ultimate champion.

They want someone to disrespect them. They know they are worthless, and Donald is happy to give them the disdain they so truly desire and deserve.

For that is what they want and need. What Mussolini provided, what propelled Hitler, that is what they want. And they think the answers are found in the persona of Donald Trump. You know, he was not wrong about being able to shoot someone in the middle of 5th Avenue and not lose any followers. What he didn’t say though, was that he could shoot one of his followers, and they would relish the individualized attention they received from their savior. Even if it was in the form of hot lead.

Meet the New Boss! Same as the Old Boss!

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He missed! But he took out others in the crowd, so we cannot be totally jubilant. The assassination attempt was unsuccessful in taking down its primary target. Some say it was divine intervention that kept Donald alive, and barely wounded. I’m not sure about that, but it is an obvious fact that it was a very close miss. But if you hoped that the attempt would bring about a Road to Damascus moment for Donald, it appears you will be waiting for a very long time. It took only about a day before the murmuring to resume, only now with added emphasis based upon the assignment of blame.

Of course, according to Republicans, all of the speech that provoked this attention seeker was Democratic. It is very easy to whitewash all of the Donald’s past comments about violence as an acceptable response to political differences as simply another case of fake news. And of course, all of the sycophants are happy to go along with the flow, and lay the blame upon the enemy. It is worse at the RNC since all of the sycophants are gathered together in one space, where they feed off of each other’s energy, and they have absolutely no compunction against revising the story of our lives in the last administration. According to these speakers of their truth, it goes without saying that the economy was never better than in the 2017-2020 time period, and everyone was fat, dumb, and happy. People have never been happier than they were back then, with depressed energy prices caused by demand collapse, and 15% unemployment. Those little irritating facts just get swept away as one speaker after another tries to sell their own line of reality.

Remember, more Americans died of Covid under Biden than under Trump say the Trump cultists. So Trump must have done so much right, according to the story sold by the true believers. (I am feeling like I have a horrible cheek hernia caused by my tongue poking through my skin after penning these lines.) Unfortunately, all of this is exactly what I’ve been expecting. Nowhere is anyone willing to take any responsibility for creating the culture that results in lone punks trying to take out a presidential nominee. My late father-in-law shared his wisdom from his 90 years on this planet. He said, “there are too many guns in the hands of too many people who have no business having them.” When you combine apocalyptic rhetoric from politicians of all persuasions, along with so many weapons out there, it is a wonder that this sort of event has not happened before.

Many people now want to believe it was an evil plot that nearly succeeded in Pennsylvania. We are so expectant that nothing happens by chance, we cannot accept any result that is not formed from a complex conspiracy. As it so happens, the tiniest of actions, like turning your head unexpectedly to the side, can prevent evil from triumphing. But in our society that has been raised on conspiracies, it is now impossible to accept simple answers. According to the cultists, no one has free will. Everyone is manipulated into their actions, and the more convoluted the explanation for an event, the more likely it is to be transmitted as undeniable truth. I am reminded of the Mexican bandits in the Treasure of the Sierra Madre, except their iconic line has been changed to: “Facts? We don’ need no steenkin facts!”

So now it appears that our nation is going to be captured by a rogue minority who doesn’t believe in the changes of the past 60 years. Heck, they want to go back to the days before 1920, when US Senators were elected by legislators, women couldn’t vote, and Social Security and other safety net programs were only gleams in the eyes of the libs. All of the changes to society are suspect, and the only solution is open carry. Submit, all ye women, as ye reclaim your rightful position as being inferior to males. How do you deal with people who exist in an alternate reality? Who believe in male superiority? Forget white privilege, it is male privilege that is truly more important to the members of the cult.

So to imagine society will be brought together by the tragedy of Butler PA is a fever dream. It ain’t gonna happen! Although, I guess, if all of the people decide to join the cult, they would deign to pretend they’ve brought about unity. Of course, when you are led by someone who inherited hundreds of millions, then somehow successfully peddled the myth that he was a self-made business genius, a little lie about unity is easy to swallow.

Help Those Who Suffer From TDS

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Class, today we will discuss Trump Derangement Syndrome, or TDS. This is a disease that a significant amount of people supposedly suffer, according to the followers of DJT. We will do a deeper dive into the symptoms shared by those who are suffering this syndrome.

The first symptom is a visceral reaction to lying. This could be exposure to a statement that is flatly denied even though video of past interviews confirm the offending quote, or it could be a statement easily shown to be false, or any range of actions that reflect a reality different than those who suffer TDS experience. This visceral reaction is ridiculed by those who do not suffer from TDS. Indeed, those who are blissfully unaware of their proclivity to accept these lies have a difficult time understanding why TDS sufferers even care about lies.

Another issue is an allergy against bullying. Bullying brings up the gag reflex time after time. The symptoms it produces is often confused with bulimia. Those who share this allergy will often recall episodes in their own lives where either they witnessed acts of aggression from bullies, or were victims of bullying themselves. The idea that someone could attain power by causing their opponents to retreat by being called out by a bully is anathema to them. It reminds them of days where cogency of an argument did not matter, all that mattered was strength (and often that strength was overstated, but no one wanted to risk physical punishment by testing out the bully). It is amazing how often childhood experiences shape the adult. Those who are the bullies and never feel adverse consequences for their actions tend to keep that mode of action for their adult life also.

A symptom most sufferers of TDS share is intellectual curiosity. They are aware that they do not have the answer to all issues, and must learn about an issue from others who have more knowledge. When they encounter someone who insists they have knowledge surpassing all others, therefore they do not need to engage in learning, they become incredulous. Images of Wile E. Coyote declaring himself a Super Genius come to mind. Of course, the sufferers of TDS all remember those instances of Wile E. learning that gravity is an unalterable law. They fear the consequences of being led by someone who thinks they know more than those who have spent their lives learning about a subject. A hurricane projection with a crudely drawn extra line comes to mind, where stable genius causes an entire region to fear an oncoming storm that would never approach them.

Sufferers of TDS often face this debilitating disease in silence. There are no national foundations whose purpose is to provide healing from this disease. That is why we are announcing with this commercial a new way to assist those suffering from TDS. For only $19 a month, you can help to provide relief to those who have suffered the curse of TDS. Remember, only you can prevent TDS. And if you use a credit card, we will send you this T-shirt emblazoned with The Mug Shot. Be the first in your neighborhood to display your allegiance in the fight against TDS. Operators are standing by now.

The Unending Crisis

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And so, as of May 30, 2024, our long national nightmare …. is just beginning again. To those who believe a first conviction of a former president of the United States will result in the cause of this former president going away, I have some beach front property in West Virginia to sell to you. If anything, the clamor from the “victimized” classes is going to increase, not go away. The nattering nabobs of negativism seem to believe that only crimes defined by Republicans are legitimate crimes. They earnestly believe the entire federal government is arrayed against them, merely because they are being prosecuted by those who administer justice.

So it is abundantly clear we have a split screen nation. One side is wanting to worship the con man who fooled millions into believing he was on their side, while the other side is wondering when the gullible fools will have the scales fall from their eyes, and undergo their road to Damascus conversion. I honestly believe the true supporters of Trump will never weaken in their support for the charlatan and his supposed cause. That is because they are convinced if they admit their champion is a fraud, the entire façade they’ve built up over the years will crumble. They will have to acknowledge the US has grown beyond a monolithic white protestant culture, into one that reflects the diversity found in the world. And, quite frankly, that prospect terrifies many on the right. They will be forced to admit proficiency exists across all racial and ethnic lines, which is contrary to their belief that white is best and deserves to dominate.

You hear so many of these idolaters transfer their allegiances from God to the developer who has mucked up most of the businesses he’s been associated with over the decades. They decry the deep state that stands against their ascension again, since anyone who opposes them, must be against America. You hear many claim that Biden has been terrible, though if you push them for an example of his errors, they are unable to reply. Really, what you are seeing is the demolition of an entire belief system built up over decades. Face it, trickle down economics as enunciated by Ronald Reagan and his followers, has been a poor deal for many people. It has turned them from the middle class, to the poor who cannot afford life. Of course, since many people are incapable of understanding subtlety, they support those who scream the loudest and share the shortest soundbite to support their position. Expecting a reversal of 40 years of mismanagement, they choose to follow someone who conveniently reverses all of reality. It is so easy to draw out fake memories of times past, when things were good. Never mind that all of history is against them. And by following their selective memories, they ignore all of the evidence of future intent found in the statements of their supposed leader.

So we are to believe that crime is raging out of control, when all statistics show crime rates have come down from decades past. And we are to believe we have a feckless foreign policy, because of course, no country would dare to attack another while the past president was in control. And we are to believe the economy in the US was never better than under Trump, something than can be disproven through a simple Google search. While at the same time we are supposed to believe that truth, justice, and the American way will flourish once again if we only put these supposed patriots back in power. How gullible to they think we are?

Actually, we have very clear evidence about their beliefs. An entire party is predicated upon supporting their leader, simply because they now have a leader who uses bullying as a primary tool. Once their current leader goes away, either through electoral defeat, or through administration of justice, or through human mortality, they will turn around and select another who is capable of being a figurehead to lead their one, true cause. The many who insist on the purity of their cause will latch onto someone, anyone, who is able to deceive them into believing they need him. And have no fear, it will be a him, not a her. Eventually the Republicans will support a woman, but just as the election of Barack Obama did not eliminate the latent racism in the country, the first election of a woman to the presidency will not eliminate the misogyny of the country. Given how that trait seems rooted more firmly in one party, I predict it will be Democrats who cause the election of the first woman to the presidency.

And just like the racism that oozed out after Obama’s election, the virulent strain of misogyny will tear apart this nation even more than it is already. Face it, the attacks upon women’s agency are just beginning. Should Donald win another term, the hounds will be unleashed. Forget any form of contraception. That is something thought of by evil people who do not want women to be vessels of creation, a calling clearly authorized in the Bible (sarcasm on). That is what upsets me the most, is the misuse of the words of scripture to justify the subjugation of – just about anyone viewed as potentially progressive. When you hear about ministers who are upbraided by members of their congregation for preaching on the words of the Beatitudes, because they cast Jesus as a woke liberal, that’s when you realize there is nothing these brazen hypocrites will not do to gain power.

But then the economy. Things were so much better back then The political ads are already dripping their poison into the veins of America. And while some sense the true nature of this poison, others welcome it as they welcome morphine to ease their pains of existence. Sooner or later, they will find themselves addicted to the words of their cult leader. When that happens, we all will lose.    

The Rematch of Our Lives

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Memories! It’s amazing how memories can be manipulated. They are actually claiming conditions were so much better under the past administration, and if we only grant them our vote again, they will institute nirvana once more. Well, I invite all who have short memories to look at the archives of this blog. I began the blog after the inauguration of Donald Trump, and have kept it ever since. It is a reflection of the chaos we all felt set down in real time. But what I now see is that the chaos does not matter to so many of today’s citizens who may vote in November for Trump. No, what matters is ignorance. A recent poll from NBC shows that people who use newspapers to learn about the world favor Biden over Trump by a 70%-29% margin, while people who don’t follow political news favor Trump over Biden by a 53%-27% margin. Hidden within these numbers is a belief that traditional media gives a more comprehensive understanding vs. reading T-shirt slogans. I know some reject that belief.

So we now understand the reason why so many people are supporting Donald Trump. They are ignorant of the real issues.  At last, a real reason for why people are voting against their long-term interests. They believe politics are totally outside of their concern, and they have no need to understand issues or have any sort of political perspective. They are content just to skim the surface of culture, and are subject only to the loudest voice. That is why one party is able to claim the exact opposite of reality and get enough folks to buy into it that they are able to win elections.

I do understand that there are many who have bought into Trumpian principles. Some of them are true believers in the Republican mantra of lower taxes and smaller government, and they honestly believe other positions are evil and must be opposed. Bill Barr fits into this category, since he has come around to supporting Trump since the Biden / Democrat leftist thrust (according to him) is so evil, Trump is better by comparison. More than a few also share in the Trumpian racism which is reflected in so many of his positions, such as a vituperative distrust of any immigrants from what is called the Third World. These are the ones who believe in the great replacement theory, wherein whites are being deliberately forced into subservience and minority status, primarily by Jews who are pulling the strings of society. These are the hard core of Trump’s support, and no one will ever convince them otherwise.

No, what seems as if it is defining the election to come is the core of lazy and ignorant people who refuse to get involved. They may be convincible about the total unfitness of Donald Trump for presidential responsibilities. Somehow we must show these folks that the upcoming election is not an ordinary choice between opposing views of government. What we have instead, is a choice between reality, and a fantasy world of entrapment. Should we choose the latter, what might we expect?

For one, expect an attempt to be made to expel all who do not possess legal status inside of the US. Even if those who have a status of undocumented have lived within this country for decades, and have obeyed all other laws during that time, there will not be an exception made for good behavior. The mere act of illegal immigration will be enough to offset any subsequent behavior, and forced expatriation will be pursued throughout the second Trump administration. Expect scenes to be broadcast of crops rotting in neglected fields, followed by inflation in all prices agricultural. Remember that we no longer have a meat packing workforce that employs  legal residents, so prices for all farm protein will also skyrocket. If we thought prices escalated during the Biden administration, you can expect many times that level of inflation to afflict US consumers during the next administration.

Restaurants will close down as the work force disappears. Schools will be in flux as some students abruptly leave in order to accompany their families across a border to a land totally alien to them. Television crews will focus on those left behind, some with family support, but others trying to tough it out having lost both parental figures. The GDP of the country will nosedive as the US attempts to compensate for the loss of a substantial portion of its labor force.

This all did not have to happen. Immigration policy has been verboten to resolution in our congress for decades. Now, it appears the issue will be forced upon us because of the threats coming from one of the two political parties in this nation.

Other consequences we can expect? How about the abandonment of the rule of law, both domestic and foreign. We can expect the commitments to international order to vanish in a flurry of Presidential decrees, and people will be surprised to see an expansion in international conflicts, instead of the peace promised by Republicans. An attempt will be made to seize the levers of control for the US justice department, and only court challenges will potentially stop that from happening. Expect the job market for attorneys to ramp up, while productivity in the US economy slows to a crawl.

Of course, food-borne illnesses will take a huge jump up, as we abandon any semblance of regulatory control. All of the guard rails set up to prevent financial players from gouging clueless consumers? Gone in a blink. The political group that wants to eliminate Darwin from the schools has no qualms about unleashing financial Darwinism on the hapless people who live on the margins of the economy.

The controls on women of reproductive age will tighten. Reproductive rights? Merely a mirage, nothing to see here, your duty is to produce a new generation of citizens. The right kind of citizens, that is. Remember the laws against miscegenation? They were big when America was Great. Those same laws will reappear to prevent our culture from homogenizing. You want your government to monitor the status of your pregnancy? Your wish will be fulfilled in many states.

Worst of all, we will see the continued crackdown on political expression. TDS will become a capital offense, Even the far corners of the internet, like this blog, will be searched and forbidden. Those who think this is all hyperbole? Just go ahead with the election of Donald Trump and see how many of these projections come to fruition. This is not my choice of societies to live in for my remaining years. Unfortunately, societal dystopia may be coming for us all.

5th Avenue Shootout

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Beelzebub bowed down to the Don. “What an easy mark he is,” thought the Devil. “Just a little bit of flattery and he’s eating out of my hand.”

The Donald looked around him. They were alone, so no one else could see this remarkable exchange taking place. He had finally arrived! Someone the Donald looked up to was paying homage to him. “Go on, get up. No need for formality here.”

Beelzebub took advantage of the proffered familiarity, and slunk over to the Donald’s side, taking his arm. “You already have just about anything I can offer. The best women money can buy, the camaraderie of those leaders you like to pal around with, sycophants who thought they held power in this nation until they came up against you. What more do you desire?”

The Donald thought for a brief moment. “I want to make it certain I get elected, then I want to never have to have an election after that.”

Beelzebub pondered on how best to make this bargain. He had already received the Donald’s soul wrapped up in a bow. The only thing left was the submission of the foreclosure notice. Then he knew. He knew what he could do that would provide the ultimate takedown for this preposterous charlatan so looked up to by his admirers. “You know that thing you said about shooting someone on 5th Avenue and not losing a supporter? Well, we can make that happen, and once it does, no one will ever challenge you again.” Beelzebub looked around, making certain no one else could overhear them. “I’ll get you Alvin Bragg out there on 5th Avenue. You can’t ask for anything more.”

The Donald appeared gleeful. “That’s wonderful. I’ve always wanted to take down that stuffed shirt. How he ever got elected, I’ll never know. One of those affirmative action hires for sure. Probably has immigrant blood in him.”

Beelzebub stroked his goatee. This was going better than he had any reason to expect. Not only was the mark accepting the bargain, he was pushing the bounds by asking for more.

Since Beelzebub was nearly omnipotent, the Donald instantly found himself outside of his namesake tower, holding a semi-automatic rifle just like the images he would see festooned on banners his followers liked to display. Only those banners had muscular definition that the Donald sorely lacked, though no one dared to mention it to the Donald. Sure enough, walking across the street the Donald could pick out the form of Alvin Bragg. The Donald raised the rifle, and pulled the trigger. Since this was still under the control of Beelzebub, the Donald found that the rifle he held was fully automatic. The rapid firing did bring down the Manhattan DA, but also brought down dozens of other denizens of Manhattan as collateral damage.

The Donald yelled excitedly. “Got him. I got him.”

Swiftly the Donald’s Secret Service escorts came up and grabbed the offending weapon from his hands. One of his escorts put his finger on the trigger, and it fired wildly across 5th Avenue. That unlucky agent was instantly gunned down by the others in the patrol. The agents huddled, and soon came up with the story that it was only a rogue agent who was responsible for the carnage. The Donald was totally innocent.

His legend grew. Those who were hesitant at giving their total allegiance, now could barely stand the wait in line to give their own obeisance to the Donald. Those who had spoken up previously somehow mysteriously lost their voices. It was strange to see the leading subject matter on networks like MSNBC, now disappearing into the cable void. They had to find new topics to take the time. Did you know that Anthony Fauci is now employed by pharmaceutical companies? I didn’t until the topic of the Donald disappeared from view. So what that his employment is truly with academia, we all know who’s really paying the bill.  

The campaign flew past in a blur. Those who had talked about the interminable length of the upcoming campaign, had to swallow their words as the news cycle swung around to the unbearable lightness of the Donald’s being, as each pronouncement became more favorable for the Donald. Election day was upon the US, and the outcome was a foregone conclusion. Not only was it possible for the Donald to shoot someone on 5th Avenue, and not lose support, but somehow the actual act of shooting folks on 5th became part of the allure of the Donald. Why vote for steady competence when you could vote for the nation’s latest superhero! The Donald, with his photo shopped abs, holding an AK! The voters of this nation spoke with almost one voice, selecting the obese one to lead the country. Soon it would be inauguration day.

Beelzebub rubbed his hands together in glee. Time to foreclose.

Slimey’s Merchandising

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I luxuriated in the feel of the February sunshine as I sat on a bench next to the Tidal Basin. It always felt good to enjoy the pre-spring warmth, tempered by the air cooled by the water nearby. Soon the trees would be wreathed in blossom, and this walk would be overwhelmed with tourists intent on capturing the perfect Instagram picture of the cherry trees. But for now, I had the entire basin nearly to myself.

Nearly to myself. That is what I thought I had. But soon I became aware of another presence coming towards me from behind. I turned around on the bench, and saw my friend Slimey approach me. Now Slimey was the original DC swamp monster, in fact, I first saw him coming out of the Tidal Basin. He is an 8’ tall reptile, sporting rapier-like claws and teeth that could tear you from end to end. But as Slimey became more used to human life, he began to lose some of his ferocity. Of course, the tailored suit he wore helped a great deal. Why, except for his tail which his trousers failed to cover, he looked just like any lobbyist from K Street.

Slimey came up, and sat at the opposite end of the bench. He said, in his sibilant-accented voice, “Friend. I hoped to find you here. Would you have a minute or two to help me with my research?”

Now, I did have plenty of time. But it is always the best of discretion to do whatever Slimey requested. We had a good relationship, but the possibility of his tearing my head off was constantly in my mind, whenever Slimey and I shared a space. So I said, “Sure. How can I help?”

Slimey smiled, then began. “I’ve been appointed merchandising manager for the Donald J. Trump On-line Emporium. Because of the overwhelming success of the shoes, we are trying to come up with new products that will move the needle just a bit, and manage to knock off just a few mill of the penalties that the legal system has imposed. You.” And here he paused for a moment, to turn and look at me. Slimey’s head could not move independently of his body, so it took longer for him to look directly at me. He continued. “You are part of my focus group. Not everyone I meet is willing to overlook my appearance, but you always have. Thank-you for that, friend.”

Well, flattery will get you anywhere, and even if it is coming from an 8’ tall reptile, I felt warmth run through me that wasn’t induced from the sun. I said, “Go on. I’m dying to hear about the products you have come up with.”

Slimey took that in, and bobbed his head slightly. He began. “First, there’s the Donald J. Trump hot air balloon. Just an ordinary latex balloon, but covered in a pithy saying, and complete with an inflator that exposes the saying, while filling the balloon with hot air. Floats for just a while, then comes back down to earth.” He stopped, awaiting my reaction.

I had to say, this was an underwhelming offering. “I’d pass on that one.”

Slimey didn’t seem to take the rejection personally, just went on to the next product. “We’ve come up with a dual-use product. It is a tube of Donald J. Trump laxative and hemorrhoid cream. Put a little in your drink, and then a bit on your tuckus. A little dab will do you.”

I thought for a moment. “That has some promise. I can see that being useful for your key demographic groups.”

Slimey shook his head up and down in agreement. “Yes, I thought we had a winner with that one. Now just wait till you hear about this next offering. It’s Bigley Condoms. Each package guaranteed to fit even the most demanding customer.”

That one took me aback a bit. “Wouldn’t that product offend some of your key constituents? I know some of them hold to the belief that every sperm is sacred. A product aimed at recreational sex? Don’t think it will fly.”

Slimey looked a little sad. “I had high hopes for that product. Ah, well, this next one is sure to be a winner. It is toilet paper, but not ordinary toilet paper. It is paper with each square embossed with a T, outlined in 24k gold. This is aimed at our more discerning followers.”

Slimey had done it again. I could see this being a runaway success, especially if paired with the laxative. And this was the first product I could see with major cross-over appeal. Even those who oppose the Donald would jump at the chance to apply this to their bodies. “Slimey, you have a real winner here. I can see this one becoming a product for all Americans. This one could bring about true unity in our country.”

Slimey got up. He had received enough feedback to proceed. After he said his farewell, and disappeared beyond the Jefferson Memorial, I thought I would look forward to the opportunity to purchase some of this new product and give it the honor it deserved as it served its purpose.

Racism? It’s Not Just For Breakfast Anymore

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Photo credit Wikipedia Unite the Right article

It would be so easy to slip into an adoration mode. All I need to do is adopt racist attitudes and actions, and I would not react in an emetic fashion to his pronouncements. To think it could be that easy, to slip into a comatose state where all things emotional are provided by my master. Of course, we have to oppose any immigration, since only evil people want to come in over our borders. Of course, it is only white northern European stock that is capable of advancing society. Those primitive natives in shithole countries have never invented anything. It is only because of our beneficence that they have any semblance of civilization. To think of then coming into our country and poisoning our blood, why it is an appalling concept!

Or so one side of the debate would have you believe. More and more, you hear only of the evils of immigration, and unwillingness to accept the “other”. Makes you wonder whether these hypocrites remember their Bible stories, since they are so eager to impose their supposedly biblically-based morality on everyone else. Do they remember the parable of the Good Samaritan, who was the one who cared about an injured person and spent their own money making certain that the injured person could recover from their wounds? Even though the injured person was from a different human group than the Samaritan? Probably not, since so much of the hypocrite’s time and energy is spent on making certain they never come across anyone different than themselves.

I wish we could adopt the same race consciousness that cats have. Differences in coat coloration do not matter in the least to a cat. Instead, they roll about in play not caring whether they cat they are playing with has a black, or tabby, or calico coat. We’ve adopted two kittens and they make no distinction about who they play with or any superficial differences between them.

It does seem that humanity is regressing, moving away from full integration of the flavors of humanity, and insisting on the superiority of a single strain of the population. This resistance to the future seems to be what is driving so much of our politics today. One side seems convinced we are in a zero-sum world, where advances by one group will result in diminished returns by all others. Since white, European people have been the dominant group in the US, challenges to that dominance are greeted with as much hostility as the aggrieved group can muster. When this fear is coupled with a political leader who explicitly gives permission to vent political incorrectness, we see an abandonment of supposedly long-established principles. It has long been said that the veneer of civilization is thin, and once it is removed, animal impulses come out. That is the explanation I see for the rank hypocrisy exhibited by what the Republican party has become. It is now a party of Archie Bunkers, full of rage against anything that would interrupt their stay in a recliner. What so many people fail to realize is how easy it is to fall from a high perch. If we resist coming change, it will overwhelm us and the dominant class will find out what it is like to live at the bottom of the ladder. If we don’t bend with the applied pressure, we will break. I for one do not wish to live in a society which is broken. If the party of regression somehow wins the next election, I’m afraid it will confirm a break. Such a result will make me think long and hard as to what my response will be.

Trump – This Time Around

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Photo credit: Matt Barnard/Tulsa World Via AP. Photo of Tulsa rally 2020.

He viewed the slope going up to the microphone. Damn it, they forgot his explicit instructions that he was never to walk up or down an inclined plane. “Bring me my golf cart”.

One of his flunkies retrieved the golf cart from the hold of his plane, and drove up to him. He threw his 320- pound frame into the empty seat, and the cart took care of the hard work of the 1-10º slope right away. He swiveled his legs to the side, and gestured for the driver to go back behind the crowd until he was needed to go down at the end of his diatribe.

Once he assumed his place behind the teleprompters, he felt at ease. He stiffly raised his arm above his head, then did a little jig as the speakers blared out YMCA. Totally out of time with the music, he seemed to be a parody of himself. Still, his crowd ate it up, roaring a cry of “4 more years!” as he basked in the adulation he was receiving. It mattered little that the crowd only filled half of the available space, and the empty chairs stretched well beyond the section of the hanger allotted for the press.

He started with one of his sure-fire lines for success. “See all of the fake news out there. Probably waiting till I make some comment about poisoned blood so they can compare me to Hitler. Well, let me tell you now. Hitler had nothing on me. I’m going to be the greatest of all time. Folks will remember me before they remember that Hitler fellow. I’m going to start by executing all of these peddlers of fake news. Then maybe I’ll start to get some better coverage by what’s left of the fake news.”

His crowd ate this up. They began a chant of “Dead Fake News! Dead Fake News!” He listened for a while, then began again.

“I don’t know why these folks are so upset about a few words that I say. Just wait till I can use my powers again. Powers that should never have been taken away from me. Everyone knows I won that election. Those Democrats stole it from me. I had 7 million more votes than in ’16. They’ve never seen someone gain that many votes over a term. We should have stopped counting votes that first night on election day. Each day that went on, we lost more and more ground. I want to change the Constitution so that only votes cast and counted on Election Day count. No more of this voting till it turns out like the Deep State wants. I’ve had enough of that. Have you had enough of that?”

“Enough! Enough! Enough!” The crowd, although somewhat small, still made an impressive sound as they yelled in unison.

He smiled back at the crowd beatifically. He let the shouts decay, then began again before they had totally died away. “Of course, I still have to deal with all of these fake indictments against me. That totally evil man, Jack Smith. How I hate him! Did you know his wife hates me even more that Jack does? Those are two really evil people.”

A yell began to emerge from the crowd spontaneously. “Hang Jack Smith! Hang Jack Smith!”

He let the chant raise up to a deafening crescendo before he went on. “I need to get inside of that Justice Department and shred all of those folks who are trying to persecute me. They will never forget how I get my revenge on them. And you are going to help me, by voting for me, but more importantly, sending me money. I’ve begun a new thing. I need you to tithe to me as well as give to your church. Only if I have enough money can I bring down the evil doers who want to go after me.”

There was no unified response to this last statement. Just a sort of murmur that filled the arena with muffled sound.

“Of course, there’s evil we still need to face in this world. Can you believe they still want to waste money sending it to Ukraine? What I need is for people to let me get those countries to stand down. Why, I bet I can get Russia and Ukraine to stop fighting 6 hours after I get back in the White House. And why stop there? Can’t you just see it if we are friends with Putin, and Xi, and Kim Jong Un? We could tell all the rest of the world to follow us. We’d have all of the power then! These leaders are my friends. We can rule together!”

The crowd legitimately went crazy after that. Shouts rang out throughout the crowd, nearly drowning out the shots fired into the ceiling by some of the patriots who were packing. A part of the crowd broke away, seeking out the few news media still left in the hanger. “Kill them now! Kill them now!” You could make out a few people who were doing their best to bring about summary execution. Fortunately for the media, most managed to make it out of the doors. It was only a few who were set upon by the crowd and torn to pieces.

He was just about done now. Only a few more phrases to toss out to his ravenous hordes. “Just remember. They are coming after me only because I am protecting you. Without me, you would be at the mercy of those terrible, terrible people who want to tear down this country. If you want this country to be great, you must support me. I’m the only thing keeping them away from you.” And with that, he motioned for his cart to come around. It duly appeared, and he went down the treacherous slope with no hesitation. He rode in the golf cart all the way to his plane, because it would have been a hundred-yard walk. Nobody could expect him to make that kind of physical exertion. It might have caused his 6-pack to collapse. And we wouldn’t ever want to see that, would we?

State Secrets

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I got the call in the middle of the night. I could barely make out the words for all of the hissing and sibilance that came across the line. Those hints made me aware it was my friend Slimey, the original swamp monster from DC, who was calling me and disturbing my sleep.

Slimey was my friend, and I’m glad he took a shine to me. Imagine an 8’ tall reptile, with razor-sharp claws and teeth more reminiscent of an alligator than anything else you could come across in DC. Whenever I heard talk about “draining the swamp”, I could see humanity encountering the rest of Slimey’s family. It was only Slimey who had attempted to mingle with the rest of humanity, and really, once he put on a tailored suit which covered most of his tail, I had difficulty in picking him out from the rest of the K St. lobbyists. The one thing that always stood out though, was his size. He towered over the rest of us, and I guess that is why he was invisible to most of the inhabitants of DC. They were used to ignoring the biggest thing in the room, so of course, Slimey had the perfect disguise.

I tried to listen carefully. Slimey was directing me to come to the Tidal Basin as soon as possible. He wasn’t fooling around with any attempt to hide his abode. There had to be a good reason for this urgency.

It took me almost no time to pull on my pants and a t-shirt. Since it was still late summer, I didn’t need much else to stay warm. I ended up driving on the nearly deserted streets down towards the Jefferson Monument, where I would encounter Slimey. That was the place of our first meeting, shortly after the 2017 inauguration. Ever since then, I had encountered Slimey on streets, and at my front door. I instinctively felt that this retreat to Slomey’s home turf did not bode well for any of us.

I found myself near one of the streetlamps, sitting on a bench. Surely he could see me, and would approach. I still was taken aback when he emerged from the water itself, shaking to rid his skin of the extra water he brought up with him. No clothes this time, he was holding only a single document inside of a clear waterproof envelope. He took the few steps over to the bench and took his seat beside me.

“Well met, friend. I’ll bet you are wondering why I called you here.” Slimey was always one for delaying getting to the point. I had grown accustomed to his procrastination, so I remained silent, waiting for Slimey to proceed.

“I’ll not deceive you, this is the biggest thing I’ve ever had. I realized I could not deal with this myself, so that’s why I called you.” Slimey held up the envelope with the single piece of paper. “After this, I’ll not be able to show my face at all in this town. I’m going back home till all of this blows over.”

I finally found my curiosity was aroused. “Just what sort of thing do you have there?” I pointed towards the envelope, which was still grasped tightly in Slimey’s claws.

“This? This is the secret that will release all of the enemies. I can’t tell you how I got this.” Slimey looked agitated, and that is one state I hoped never to see – an agitated 8’tall reptile. I found myself sliding over to the edge of the bench, as far away from his claws as I could get while still staying somewhat close. I knew it would do no good if he ever really decided to use his immensely powerful, instantly deadly claws to tear open my unprotected gut, but the survival instinct kicked in, if only partially.

Slimey stood up. “All of the documents taken, all of the secrets. This one document explains everything. And I found I must turn it over to you.” He handed over the envelope, and gave only one instruction. “Wait until I’ve disappeared before you look at it.” With that, he quickly covered the distance to the water, and not caring who saw, he disappeared under the murky water into the DC swamps.

I waited for what seemed like minutes as he never breached the surface again. Finally, I opened up the waterproof envelope, and pulled out the single piece of paper. On it, there was only the following writing.

6’ 1” and 320 pounds.