
Photo by Tunde Olaniron through CNN
Once upon a time, there was a nation where everything was peachy-keen. Nobody was discriminated against, everyone was judged by their character rather than their skin color, and the nation had never been guilty of anything bad ever happening in its glorious history. Into that country slinked some naughty evil people, who stole an election from the rightful winners, and went on to impose all manner of bad rulings and total debauchery.
Fortunately, the good guys (because of course, it was guys since you can never depend upon that other sex to do anything resembling logical and virtuous behavior) came up with a plan to reinstate their glorious leader and set our nation upon its righteous path again. Who could object to that?
Oh, but of course the evil people wouldn’t stand for that. They insisted upon reminding us that this nation had not always behaved honorably. There were times where we didn’t give those who appeared different from us an even break. They even had the audacity to remind us that 350 years of subjugation could not be overcome with 60 years of legal equality. Why, by gum and by golly, if those who aren’t true Americans can’t overcome the disadvantages they are up against, then they don’t deserve any consideration at all. Can’t see giving them any sort of a hand-out. They’d only want more, and they’d take that from all of us who really deserve to be respected and honored.
Well, we will just have to make certain that our young’uns never hear about any of these past issues. After all, we now are past any of the sins of our long-ago ancestors. None of us have ever enslaved anyone. And just remember, it was our ancestors as honorable northerners who fought and bled to free those slaves. You know those others, who fought against the northerners and wanted to keep slavery as an economic system? Why, they just were trying to stand up for state’s rights. Certainly people could understand the lily-white motives of the good people on both sides? We would never have any sort of remembrance of that, no torch-lit parades of marchers, would we?
Oh, but of course we are conflating issues here. See, much of the problems that we have is due to those few people who follow Judeo-Christian religious beliefs, but only the first part of that hyphenated word. You know, that small group who somehow manages to worm their way into controlling all of us, the true Americans. You can see them as they spread their tentacles over all of our media. That is why we have to scrub all of our media, in order to ensure that any images reaching our precious children show no traces of the struggles of humanity.
Why, any suggestion that we might not represent the ultimate pinnacle of evolution needs to be stricken from any historical source. If we remove all traces, and ensure that our precious children never have to feel uncomfortable about actions of their ancestors, then we can move forward and claim our prize. Just like if we expunge the historical record of the foul stench of impeachment, it will be as if it never happened. See? If we’d only have discovered how easy it is to alter the past, we’d never have any actions to repudiate in the future.
Now, I know some of you are feeling just a mite uncomfortable with the thought we can change the past. Let me assure you of all of the successful movements of the past where this has borne fruit. We all remember the thousand-year Reich, right? That pinnacle of man’s glorious accomplishment where we all celebrated the purification of our race? There’s no finer example of how successful we can be if we but emulate those in our recent past. Why, I have no patience for those who dare to declare any words which minimize our ascendancy atop humanity’s peak. Since we’ve learned the trick of reversing anything unpleasant in the past, we’ve certainly learned how to get rid of any mention of the victims of those who dared to be different than the objectives of those who ran the Third Reich. Now those people would never have a reason to lie.
Look, if you don’t believe in the goodness of those who want to run this country, just look at all of those who support them. You couldn’t find a more honorable group than those evangelical followers who have not quite internalized the lessons of the Beatitudes. They are the ones who believe in the inherent goodness of concealed carry without a permit. They are the ones who embody the life of the gospels by turning away all strangers, since they might be carrying fentanyl. And everyone knows it is not their fault if someone shows up at their door without explicit permission, thus incurring a lead baptism. Why, if we have these God-given rights, would we not want to exercise them to their fullest extent?
I’m tired of trying to explain to others how wrong they are. Since they refuse to accept their faults, I feel justified in using my fist to impose a little ‘larnin upside their head. If we do that enough, surely they will begin to pick up some sense. Least that’s what I think.

